In & Out - Double Double

Mark Lim - To All Fast Food Companies: Yes, my curiosity is perked when you top your burger with bleu cheese, portabello mushrooms, pineapples, clams, tripe, sushi, and soak it all in au jus, but you'll never make a good burger if you can't get the basics right.

In & Out's menu is as simple as it gets because they've focused all their talents into one thing: Making a good burger. They have the best quality control when it comes to Fast Food. Their burgers are juicy, flavorful and In & Out is pretty awesome when you're talking about consistency.

Here's a video of me eating a Double Double. I stopped by my dad's dry cleaners to run his shop for the day and he got me lunch. It got a little busy so the burger sat out for about half an hour so it wasn't as good as it normally was, but that was my fault. Enjoy.

In & Out: Double Double

Taste ------------ (9) Great patties, lettuce always good, awesome sauce

Presentation -----(7) Usually pretty good, I let this one sit out for a while though

Price ------------- (9) $3 is a good price for a Double Double

Quantity --------- (7) A pretty big burger for the price

Satisfaction ----- (8) I love me some In & Out

Rating: 9 out of 10

The Double Double is probably the burger I most frequently eat. There's just something comforting about it. I can always count on getting a good quality burger from In & Out.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Wendy's Bacon Bleu Burger Review

Mark Lim - When I was a little kid I would wait all week for Saturday morning because I knew that was the day I would see some rocking toy commercials that would change my life.

Now that I'm an adult and can't play with toys I still wait all week for new commercials but this time it's for burgers.

My new obsession has been the Wendy's Bacon Bleu Burger. The commercial is tantalizing, hypnotic, and always tempting me with it's apple wood smoked bacon and perfect chunks of bleu cheese blanketing a juicy square bun.

I decided this would be the perfect post for my first video review. I know it's gross and impolite to talk with my mouth full but I'm getting too old to care. Here's the vid:

Talking with my mouth full

Wendy's Bacon Bleu Burger

Looks like a man screaming with open sores in his mouth

The tomato looks lonely. Maybe it should try eHarmony for fruits.

Wendy's: Bacon Bleu Burger

Taste ------------ (8) That bleu cheese and bacon worked really well together

Presentation -----(5) Slightly repulsive

Price ------------- (4) $5 for this? What a rip.

Quantity --------- (5) A Medium sized burger

Satisfaction ----- (6) The taste was unique but it was expensive and lacked presentation.

Rating: 6 out of 10

I hope watching my video review didn't make you guys too sick. Would I get this again? No, but ask me again if I ever win the lotto.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Calr's Jr. - Grilled Cheese Bacon Sandwich ($7.00 Super Sized Combo) Rating: 7

Mark Lim - Vegetarians rejoice! Carl's Jr. has come out with a brand new Grilled Cheese Sandwich just for all you herbivores out there. Huzzah!

(Oh, don't forget to remind them to hold all the fatty beef patty and delicious bacon strips)

Yes, Carl's Grilled Cheese Sammy wasn't exactly what I expected. I love my massive amounts of meat but I was hoping for more of a tasty cheese focused sandwich. Clearly it wasn't.

Carl's Grilled Cheese Bacon Burger

Enjoying my not so vegetarian sandwich

It's a pretty good looking and tasting but it wasn't anything special. It tastes just like any other sandwich they have except there's an extra slice of cheese in it. There's nothing new or exciting, just another gimmick using the same old ingredients.

They could have tried something really weird like a Mozzarella Cheese Stick Sandwich. That would have been so awesome. Instead they played it safe and just made something quite boring.

Carl's Jr: Grilled Cheese Bacon Sandwich

Taste ------------ (8) A good tasting sammy but very boring

Presentation -----(8) Made well, looked very appetizing

Price ------------- (6) A little expensive

Quantity --------- (7) A good amount of cheese and meat

Satisfaction ----- (7) Happy but not enlightened

Rating: 7 out of 10

In a world of Ipads and Blue dragon riding 3d Space Elves, I think Carl's Jr. could be a little more innovative with their Grilled Cheese. Would I get this again? Yeah, but only to remind my taste buds how forgettable this sandwich is.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

The Farm House - 2lb Burger Challenge

Mark Lim - One of my dreams is to have my picture framed and displayed on a steakhouse wall. I want strangers to admire it and say, "Wow. That guy ate a chunk of meat the size of a hubcap in under 12 minutes."

Alas, I have yet to find a place to challenge my cholesterol cravings. The Farm House in Beaumont California did have a unique offer though. If you can eat their 2lbs of meat burger you win a free cookie. I had to do it. I must not dishonor my family.

"The Justin Burger"

Check out those two 1lb beef patties covered in cheese. Mmmm...

Here's how big it is relative to my head, and remember my head is gigantic.

Needless to say I finished the burger and the waitress was so impressed that she gave me an extra cookie. I didn't stop there though. I had to try Lauren's Chili Cheese Omelette.

Mmm... overindulgence...

Overall it was a pretty good experience. The Farm House is one of the most interesting places I've ever eaten. There's even a giant chicken statue outside

If you guys are ever in Beaumont California I suggest you try it out! It's my new favorite restaurant, and not just because I live in the middle of nowhere.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Jack in the Box - Jumbo Deal ($3.50) - Rating: 6

Mark Lim - What's more appealing to you, an 8 ounce tin of Beluga Caviar or 1,708 deep fried beef tacos? How about a slice of finely marbled Kobe Beef Steak or 300 cheese-less Jumbo Jacks? Would you rather drink a bottle of 1787 Chateau d'Expensive or 8,547 gallons of Sprite?

This is what Jack in the Box asks with its $3.49 Jumbo Deal. Quantity or Quality? That's the question.

I hate to say it but in most situations I lean towards value over taste. This probably explains why I subject myself to mass amounts of fast food and discount meats.

The Jumbo Deal from Jack in the Box consists of: A Jumbo Jack (No Cheese), Two Fried Beef Tacos, a Small French Fry, and a Small Drink for $3.50. By purchasing all of these together you save about 50 cents which makes this a pretty rockin deal if you've got kids, a mortgage, and a car payment.

Quality: The Jumbo Jack is a sad looking burger but it does try pretty hard by adding tomatoes and lettuce which are the "truffles" of the Dollar Menu world.

The Tacos are an acquired taste. They have a strange texture which I can only describe as crispy soggy. The beef is mixed with a soy filling to help it keep the consistency and flavor of dog food.

Jack in the Box - Jumbo Deal ($3.50)

Taste ------------ (6) Better than your average Dollar Menu
Presentation ---(4) A heaping pile of food, Soup Kitchen style
Price ------------- (9) $3.50 = Best deal in town
Availability ----- (8) A promotion that won't last too much longer
Quantity --------- (8) That's a lot of bang for your buck
Satisfaction ----- (7) Full but not satisfied

Rating: 6 out of 10

If you find yourself starving and digging in your car seats and couch cushions for money then the Jack in the Box Jumbo Deal is for you. If you've got what rich people call, "Paper Money" I suggest you purchase something more delicious.

I do commend Jack in the Box for for giving you the most bang for your buck out of any of the fast food chains. They realize that the backbone of their sales are drunken college students who want to eat something greasy and salty after last call to soak up all the alcohol poisoning.

By staying open late nights and providing affordable meals they are technically saving lives of the drunk and homeless. Thank you Jack in the Box.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Big Mac Snack Wrap - Rating: 4

Mark Lim - The way I see it is the Big Mac is a rich white college kid from the suburbs who befriends a Mexican Pizza in his Chicano studies class.

One day the Mexican Pizza invites the Big Mac to a house party on the other side of town and he begrudgingly decides to go. While there he is shunned by the Tostadas and Menudos and realizes that he'll never be able to cross the cultural lines until he meets a saucy young Bean Burrito who shows him the ways of her people.

They spend one passionate night inside a brown paper bag and 9 months later we have the Big Mac Snack Wrap.

Highland Avenue meets Olvera Street

Half of a Big Mac patty + Fixins = Big Mac Snack Wrap

I ate 3 of these for you

The Snack Wrap does taste like a Big Mac with their signature sauce/pickles/onions/and McDonald's "beef" patty but there just isn't much value for your money. It has about 1/5th of the meat a Big Mac and costs almost $2.00. You're really losing out on this deal.

Another problem is that McDonalds hasn't quite perfected the Tortilla process. Places like Taco Bell fill their tortillas with warm fillings which in turn keeps the tortillas soft and tasty. McDonald's Big Mac patties are never hot so their Snack Wraps Tortillas immedietly become cold and disgusting.

There are no new ingredients. It's just gimmick packaging.

PROS:

- Tastes like Big Mac
- Clean and easy to eat
- Less carbs
- "Healthier" than a Big Mac

CONS:

- Way less value. Not enough Meat and Cheese
- The Tortilla tastes disgusting when cold
- Too expensive

McDonald's - Big Mac Snack Wrap

Taste ------------ (6) It's got that Big Mac flavor
Presentation ---(4) Not a pretty sight. At least it's clean
Price ------------- (2) $2 = Rip Off
Availability ----- (7) Probably just testing it. It'll be gone soon
Quantity --------- (2) No enough Meat or Cheese
Satisfaction ----- (3) I felt insulted

Rating: 4 out of 10

Is it horrible tasting? No. Is it the worst thing on their menu? No. Will I be getting this again? Most likely not.

I'm just waiting for the McRib Snack Wrap.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Worst Food Ever

Mark Lim - I've been in a horrible food slump lately. The main portion of my diet consists of hot water mixed with powdered meat flavoring. If you combine that with my lack of human contact from living out in the middle of nowhere, I probably could survive a solo mission to Mars.

There were a few disgusting exceptions to my astronaut like diet but they were all made me queasy. Here's Taco Bell's Black Taco:

I hate their regular tacos and this one tasted exactly like one. The black shell added absolutely no flavor. The only thing I was excited about was to see if it made my stool look like a pipe wrapped in thick electrical tape but alas, it didn't. Yes, I can talk about stool especially if the Black Taco tasted like it.

Next on my Worst Food Ever tour was Panda Express:

I was having a hard time choosing between their brand new heavily marketed Sweet Fire Chicken or their classic Orange Chicken so I asked my server which one she preferred. "Orange Chicken" she said. Then she politely told me that the other one sucked.

Of course now that I knew that it sucked I had to try it. It was pretty nasty. The sauce is fine but the chicken was way over-breaded and cold. I must have gotten the last scoop sitting under the heat lamp because it was oh so very stale.

That's my fake smile. I am also covered in paint.

For our Saturday date night I took my woman to the most romantic casual dinning establishment of them all, Applebees.

I was dying of hunger because we spent a long time at Ross looking at strange chicken figurines and ugly checkered window curtains so I decided to get the super appetizer sampler. It was surprisingly not too bad. The Steak Quesadillas were tasty and the amount of shirmp we got amazed me.

Boring old Chicken Sliders

Enjoying my first night eating at a restaurant in a looooooooooooog time

I was in the mood for something super salty that would kick me right in the face so I ordred Applebee's version of a Reuben sandwich.

It was gross. It gave me acid reflux. It gave me the swine flu. Well, maybe it didn't but a little piece of me died that night. I probably will never eat at Applebees again.

Well that concludes my Wost Food Ever tour. I saw some good burger commercials on TV so it looks like I'll have to break the piggy bank so I can go try them.

Be Fat! Be Happy!