Bakers - Boca Burger ($7.50) Rating: 6

Mark Lim - Last Sunday I ate at a place called Baker's in Yucaipa California that boasts the first ever "Twin Kitchen" serving both American and Mexican style food.

For some strange reason I was in a hippie barefoot save the animals kind of mood and decieded to pass on all the greasy burritos and burgers and order a Soy Gluten Boca Burger instead.

When we got home I had accidentally switched bags with my wife and after I saw her juicy meat burger I was instantly disappointed with my hippie choice.

The first thing I noticed with my combo was the MASSIVE amount of fries they give you. I know it doesn't look like it in the picture but they give you a deep heavy bag that could fit two whole potatoes. Unfortunately their fries are no good.

Large bag of fries. Ok sized burger

Bakers uses different buns for their Boca burgers which are dry and dense and tasteless. It would have been much better if they had used the regular buns they put on their meat burgers.

Getting ready to take a bite of soy and glutten

The Boca patty matches too much with the color of the bun and adds no visual flavor at all.

Bakers - Bocca Burger Papa Meal

Taste ------------ (5) Bland but edible
Presentation ---(7) Well built
Price ------------- (5) A little more expensive than a regular burger
Availability ----- (6) 32 stores in So Cal
Quantity --------- (7) Burger is quite small. Plenty of fries but they're gross
Satisfaction ----- (6) I was sad after eating it.

Rating: 6 out of 10

The burger was missing a savory salty flavor. It had Thousand Island dressing on it but there wasn't enough to kick up the bland flavor of the Boca patty. I've had some good garden burgers before and this just isn't one of them.

I won't be getting this a 3rd time.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Cooking on a Budget

Mark Lim - My woman doesn't let me cook anymore because I cut off a chunk of my pinky slicing cucumbers.

I also start fires.

In order to prove to her that I've learned from my mistakes I've filmed my own cooking show.

Now she no longer lets me in the kitchen.

Enjoy!

Burger King - Mushroom Swiss Steakhouse XT ($6.00) Rating: 2

Mark Lim - Before I pulled up to the drive-thru I decided I would let a Burger King employee pick which burger I would eat that day.

I didn't realize how much of a hassle it would be.

Me: "Hi. What burger do you recommend?
BK: "Umm... (10 second pause) Let me talk to my manager."
Me: "Wait! Just tell me what new burgers you have."
BK: "Umm... we have no new burgers."
Me: "Yes you do. I can see them right there.
BK: " Let me get my manager"

As I talked to the manager through the drive-thru speaker I realized that I would have to choose my own destiny. I ended up selecting the Mushroom Swiss Steakhouse XT which I'm sure they spit on.

You have to play that sound clip when you look at that picture.

I will never forget the great mushroom famine of 2009

Can you really call it a Mushroom and Swiss Burger when they only give you one mushroom?

A disappointed look

My burger screams in pain as I bite into it

Burger King. - Mushroom Swiss Steakhouse XT

Taste ------------ (3) The steakhouse patty is ok. Can't taste much else
Presentation -----(1) Looks like someone made it with their feet
Price ------------- (3) $6 and they don't even give you mushrooms
Quantity --------- (4) It's got a lot of bun
Satisfaction ----- (1) Another disgusting looking cow pie

Rating: 2 out of 10

I don't have too much to say about the Mushroom Swiss Burger other than it's another sad display of indifference. I have worries about future of society when I look at carelessly made burgers. I imagine the same people making my food are the same people putting together cars, doing construction work for buildings, and spawning. The latter scares me the most.

If we can teach our children to take pride in making burgers with lots of mushrooms then maybe in time our world will be a better place. It all has to start somewhere.

Be fat! Be Happy!

Carl's Jr. - Big Carl ($2.71) Rating: 4

Mark Lim - Eating is a full contact sport and sometimes even the best professional consumers get injured.

I needed time to heal so I forced myself to take a break from food blogging for a couple of months because I slowly cultivated a gut that caused me many strange pains all over my body.

But now I'm back and ready to eat! (and exercise as suggested by my doctor)

The first burger on my list was the new Big Carl which was created by Carl's Jr. scientists to obliterate McDonald's Big Mac. In their new commercial they show a side by side comparison of the two burgers favoring the Big Carl.

On planet Earth, the burgers look more like my picture on the right.

McDonald burgers never look amazing but they also never look disgusting. My problem with Carl's Jr. is they dress their food up like fat juicy supermodels and parade them around like celebrities when in reality they look like this:

Thousand Island Vomit

It's a pretty big burger for $2.71 though

Cheesy stalagmites and stalactites

Carl's Jr. - Big Carl

Taste ------------ (3) Missing that tangy sweet Thousand Island flavor
Presentation -----(3) Surprise! It looks nothing like the ad
Price ------------- (7) $2.71 is not a bad deal for the volume
Quantity --------- (8) Quite filling but it was missing flavor
Satisfaction ----- (3) Every bite was like chomping on styrofoam

The size and the value of the burger is decent but the taste was absolutely boring. It's straight meat and cheese with a dollop of dressing. You couldn't even taste the Thousand Island on the burger. I had to google the ingredients to see if it was actually dressing because I was so confused by the blandness.

I'd rather have a Big Mac.

Be Fat! Be Happy!