Taco Bell - Queso Crunchwrap ($3.00) Rating: 5

Mark Lim - I've been trying really really hard not to eat fast food lately because it's been making me sick. I've lost about 10lbs after starting this site because seeing the crap I ingest kind of grosses me out. I've been yo-yo-ing around 5lbs because I get so bored at night that I need the warm hug of a midnight snack to put me to bed.

One of the places open really late at night is Taco Bell so I went to try one of their newest "entrees" called the Queso Crunchwrap:


It's basically a tostada wrapped up in a tortilla. I have some East Coast friends that have no clue what a taco, tostada, or a tortilla is is so I'll explain. It's the Mexican version of a ham sandwich. You got that?


Taco Bell food is all the same. They just change the shape of the item and slap a new name on it. They added one different ingredient to the Queso Crunchwrap and that's a "fresh" salsa. They normally just squeeze a reddish goo into their items but they use a salsa with tomatoes, onions, and cilantro for this one:


I hate cilantro and onions. I loathe them. When I order food I lie and say I'm allergic to them so they make sure not to put any in my food.


They actually don't have this item on their nutritional guide. I'm not sure why they don't but they have the regular Crunchwrap on there so I assume they're pretty similar.

Taco Bell - Queso Crunchwrap:

Calories - 560 - Fat - 24g - Sodium - 1430mg - Carbs - 68g

It's actually not horribly unhealthy meal. Chew a couple Flinstones Vitamins with it and you'll be fine.

Taste ------------ (3) I like the regular Crunchwrap Supreme better
Presentation ---(5) It's a hexagon and has clean corners
Price ------------- (8) $2.50 -$3 Pretty affordable
Availability ----- (9) Lots of Taco Bells and they're open late
Quantity --------- (7) It's a decent amount of food for the price
Satisfaction ----- (5) I'm still pretty hungry after I eat one

Rating: 5 out of 10

Taco Bell's advertising for their line of Crunchwraps focuses not on the taste of the food but by how "portable" it is. It's a really weird ad campaign. It's like advertising a lawn mower and instead of showing you how it cuts grass they keep telling you how easily it fits in your garage. I've gotten the regular Crunchwrap about half a dozen times this month and prefer it much more than the Queso version. Getting fat is fun.

Wendy's Triple Stack + Potato ($8.50) Rating: 9

Mark Lim - "Why are manhole covers round?" This was an actual question Microsoft asked in job interviews to psychologically assess their applicants. While there are many correct answers there is only one correct answer to why Wendy's hamburger patties are square.

The Answer: Because they are delicious.


Wendy's doesn't get caught up in the Burger Wars like the other Fast Food places. There's no need for prime rib, Angus, black Angus, Kobe, sirloin, rump, or some sort of space aged non-stick meat. They just use square regular meat patties and it's surprisingly edible.

So far this has been my favorite burger. My roommate agrees because we went to get him one after I finished mine.

Lettuce didn't quite survive the trip home but everything else was just fine

The other cool thing about Wendy's is that they have other weird stuff on their menu like bowls of chili and baked potatoes. The one I got kind of looked more like a potato chowder but it was damn good.

There! I ate my vegetables for the week, Mom!

Wendy's Triple Stack:

Calories - 980 - Fat - 60g - Sodium - 2010mg - Carbs - 43g

Yeah, unhealthy like the rest but damn it was good!

Taste ------------ (9) That meat was deliciously square
Presentation -----(7) It wasn't pretty but it was big!
Price ------------- (7) $4-$5 is ok for a burger this tasty
Availability ----- (6) Haven't seen too many Wendy's around
Quantity --------- (9) That was a lot of food.
Satisfaction ----- (9) Wendy's hits the spot

Rating: 9 out of 10

The Wendy's Triple Stack is my new favorite burger. No fancy gimmicks. Just a good burger.

Korean BBQ - ($20) - Rating: 8

Mark Lim - When I ask people to join me for Korean BBQ the usual response I get is, "So, I pay $20 and I have to cook the food myself? That's ridiculous!"


Part of the "salad" (and I use the term loosley) bar contains all the traditional Korean appetizers like kim Chi, pickled vegetables, and fishy things.


The other part of the bar won't contain your normal hot wings and stale pizzas. It'll have dozens of kinds of raw meat for you to cook on your table top grill.

Enjoying some appetizers while the meats cook

A plate of raw goodies

Meat in progress

Closer shot of the appetizers

Mom and dad work the grill cause I can't cook

The weird thing about the place is that they don't label their meat so it's kind of a gamble when you put a pile on your plate. You don't know what animal or part of the animal it came from. That's probably for the best. Don't be scared though. It's a lot of fun! I can barely boil water and I like it so I'm sure you will too :)

Rating: 8 out of 10

Long John Silver's - Fish/Clam/Shrimp Combo

Mark Lim - There are two places I have a hypnotic craving for that I always regret after eating. The First place is Long John Silvers:


Long John Silvers is a Fast Food fish and chips chain that is run by the same people that own Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, KFC and A&W. Everything there is battered and deep fried. Mmm... remorse...

Deep fried Fish, Shrimp, Clams, and a side of coleslaw

The closest one to me is by my dad's dry cleaners with a KFC built inside of it. (The other hypnotic craving that I always regret)

There food is greasy, fatty, and I love it... for the first few bites. After that all hell breaks loose in my stomach.

Close up Fish, Shrimp, and Clams

I've never had the clams there before so I had to try them. They're gross. Deep fried battered boiled rubber bands. Don't ever get them. The best thing they have is the chicken which I opted out of because I also wanted to try the shrimp. Shrimp is no good either. Strike 2.

Long John Silvers: Fish, Shrimp, Clams, Fries, and Coleslaw:

Calories - 1110 - Fat - 67g - Sodium - 3230mg - Carbs - 98g

Hmm... I thought it was way more unhealthy but it's almost as much as one Premium Burger from the other chains.

Taste ------------ (5) It's not very good but sometimes I just need it
Presentation -----(6) It's fried crap in a box. How good can it look?
Price ------------- (7) $6-$8. It's ok for the entire meal
Availability ----- (5) Not too many around here
Quantity --------- (9) I hardly ever finish my meal cause it's so greasy
Satisfaction ----- (6) It curbs my cravings for fried foods but always leaves me sick

Rating: 6 out of 10

It's the kind of meal I have to limit myself to once a month. Any more than that will cause my body to go into convlusions. Which brings us to my other craving:

I can eat a whole bucket

Whenever I see a KFC commercial on TV it makes me think about that urban myth that KFC bio engineers chickens with 8 legs and thighs in a secret lab in Kentucky. It always makes me hungry for mutant meat.

Original (They were out of Extra Crispy) Chicken, Potato Wedges, Biscuit, and a spoonful of coleslaw

Aparently I eat my chicken with my pinky up

6 Piece Sauceless Hotwings

KFC has this new thing with the sauceless hot wings. They suck. They're little wing pieces the size of a golf pencil with just a tiny bit of spice.

Close up of the Mutant Chicken

I don't know what kind of hold KFC has on me. I find that place so disgusting but I just have to have it. I feel like I'm pregnant.

KFC: 2 Thighs, Drumstick, Biscuit, Potato Wedges, and Coleslaw

Calories - 1450 - Fat - 89g - Sodium - 3740mg - Carbs - 98g

Yeah, that's pretty bad. This meal is almost as much food you should eat the entire day.

Taste -------- (6) It's hit or miss for me. I'd be higher if they had Extra Crispy
Presentation -----(5) Mutant Chicken never looks that good
Price --------- (3) I don't remember how much this was but it was expensive
Availability ----- (7) There are plenty of KFCs everywhere
Quantity --------- (6) It's a lot of food but not for the price
Satisfaction ----- (6) For some reason I don't ever really fill up on this crap

KFC chicken always has that unique chicken taste that tastes like no other chicken on planet Earth. Maybe it's the secret herbs and spices or maybe it's the steroid injections that the scientists give to make their chicken grow extra limbs. Who knows besides the Colonel.

Rating: 5 out of 10

Yasai Japanese Grill ($10.46) Rating: 7

Mark Lim - After stuffing myself all week with a barrage of microwaved fast food meat I decided to treat myself to some Japanese food. The problem with being Single (SingleHell.com) is that it's pretty depressing to eat in a restaurant by yourself. I had to settle for Japanese take-0ut.


Up the street from my apartment there's a very clean tiny restaurant called Yasai - Japanese Grill. (Yasai = Vegetable in Japanese) My parents taught me that the first rule of Asian dining is that If there are no Asians in the restaurant it's probably a bad sign.

There are no Asians that eat at Yasai, ever. The cashier and the waitress are Asian but the cooks inside are all Mexican. I peeked in the back just because I was curious.

I ordered the Chicken and Tempura combo. It comes with Teriyaki Chicken, 6 pieces of assorted Tempura, a Veggie Kabob, Rice, Salad, 4 California rolls, and a drink. It's a lot of food.

I worked all day and was excited to get home and gorge. I changed into my eating clothes (the ones with all the stains and torn sleeves for faster eating) and was surprised to find that they gave me the wrong meal. It was some beef bowl crap and I was pissed.

I changed again and drove back to the restaurant furious. As I walked in one waiter hid in the back and the other one gasped and ran for my correct order. I grabbed it and left without saying a word. I probably should have been nicer but hunger does crazy things to your brain.

Close up of the kabob and some tempura

The salad is actually really good. I don't normally eat salad since I'm a meatatarian but I like this one.


I like Yasai. They've found a way to Americanize all the food and made the place easy to franchise. It could be the Japanese McDonalds. Good place but next time I'm making sure I check my order before I leave.

Rating: 7 out of 10

Jack in the Box: BBQ Sirloin Burger ($4.59)

Mark Lim - It was one of those nights when I was too lazy to put a frozen Hungry Man in the microwave so I got in the car to look for some blog worthy dinner. To my surprise I found a meal that kinda, sorta lived up to its picture.

Meet the Jack in the Box BBQ Sirloin Burger:

"Sirloin" is cut from the lower part of the ribs and is considered the cheapest of the Premium Meats. (Thank you, Google.) Throw a couple of onion rings and bacon on that cheap meaty bad boy and you've got yourself a decent burger.

Wow! This is by far the best looking entry in the Burger Wars I've had so far. If you want to see how gross the others were, look to your right. ---->

"Hey! It doesn't look like vomit!"

Mmm... Savor that Cheap Premium

I normally don't like BBQ burgers because the sauce takes over and kind of numbs your taste buds but this wasn't too bad. The onion rings were still kind of crispy (unlike the BK Steakhouse) and the form looks like it was crafted by Da Vinci himself.


The burger didn't last long. I pounded it as if someone was chanting, "CHEW! CHEW! CHEW!" in the background. A pretty good burger.

Uh oh. Here comes the dreaded nutritional facts:

Jack in the Box: BBQ Sirloin Burger:
Calories - 1010 - Fat - 49g - Sodium - 2190mg - Carbs - 91g

Not too bad! I mean, it's still horrific but compared to the other burgers this is like eating a stick of celery!

Taste ------------- (7) If only I liked BBQ Sauce more
Presentation -----(10) I wanted to paint it
Price ------------- (7) $4.59 Decent price for a burger
Availability ----- (10) 24 Hours and expanding
Quantity --------- (8) Lots of Cheap Premium
Satisfaction ----- (8) Pretty good Burger

Rating: 8 out of 10

You know, I think the packaging made a huge difference. It came in this box instead of just wrapped up in paper. It survived the many bumps on my lowered vehicle with the low profile tires. The Jack in the Box's BBQ Sirloin Burger is definitely the top contender in the Burger Wars. Go eat one.

Hong Kong Palace Dim Sum - ($45)

Mark Lim - Every holiday we end up at a Chinese restaurant because Asians don't have a word for "day off". Our favorite place to have Dim Sum is at Hong Kong Palace in Rowland Heights California:


What is Dim Sum you ask? Well, think of it like a big county fair but without rides, games, petting zoos, live music, or booths selling space age sponges. They might have live animals though. I've never actually been to the back of the restaurant.

After you are seated the servers come around with either carts or trays carrying a variety of small different food samples that you can ask for. You point to which one you want and they'll mark your ticket with a stamp so they'll know how much to charge you in the end.

Sesame Seed Balls with Meat and Deep Fried Tarot

I took a sneaky shot of people ordering across the room

Umbrella-ed Desserts

Mark and Mom looking full

Dad pointing out the next artery clogging dish

Duck Tongues!!! Weird!

Deep Fried Tarot - It's purple inside

Shrimp balls

Tofu stuffed with mystery white glob

A rice dish that was wrapped in a banana leaf

Mango Jello Dessert

Usually we have to wait for a half our before we're seated because the place is always packed but we came early and were seated right away. The bad thing about showing up early is they don't bring out all the foods so you can either wait in a packed restaurant and get to sample all the foods or you eat right away but don't get to see everything.

My favorite dish is always the deep fried tofu and anything with shrimp. My dad likes the chicken feet and my mom likes the tofu dessert with syrup on top.

There's other awesomely weird foods there like the pork blood and intestine soup. I don't know if I'll ever try that one.

Dim Sum is a really nice way to eat if you are a little adventurous and like to sample lots of different types of dishes. If you have one in your town you should definitely try it :)

The Carl's Jr. Prime Rib Burger ($4.19)

Mark Lim - When I saw this burger on TV I had a new reason to live. I would get up every morning and ask myself, "Is it time? Is it time to make my burger dreams come true?" I was never more disappointed in my life.

How I pictured my Carl's Jr. Prime Rib Burger:


What it actually looked like:

Wow. There is no Santa Clause.

Most places don't serve their super burgers till 10:30am so I showed up at Carl's Jr. at 10:15am so I would get the first one off the line. When I opened the wrapper my hands became covered in "mystery juice". The burger was flat, chewy, and had the sting of too much horseradish.

I had to force this down

I opened up my burger to see what had been causing the leak and found a violent crime scene of meat. The juice sprayed like it was spitting at me.

The grilled onions were a nice touch but it wasn't enough to save this disaster. They had put way too much horseradish and it was like a punch in the face.


The prime rib was interesting. I thought the whole burger was prime rib but the burger patty just wore it like a hat.


It was hard to look at and even harder to eat. Even though it was covered in juice it was still difficult to swallow. I was pissed.

Carl's Jr. Prime Rib Burger:
Calories - 1060 - Fat - 70g - Sodium - 2940mg - Carbs - 45g

This is one of the most unhealthy things on planet Earth. I wanted to go to the doctor's after eating it.

Taste ------------- (2) No good. No good. Man, no good.
Presentation -----(1) Wow. It was ugly.
Price ------------- (3) $4.19 for this is just criminal
Availability ----- (8) They're everywhere. Stay away.
Quantity --------- (2) Sooo flat
Satisfaction ----- (1) Grossest thing I've eaten in a while

My burger dreams were crushed. Now when I see the TV commercials all I feel is hate. They're tricking you. They're stealing your money. The fat cats at Carl's Jr. are laughing at you. I am this close *makes a tiny gesture with index finger and thumb* to never eating there again. Someone please make a burger that looks and tastes like the picture.