Happy Harbor - Seafood Delights (Expensive) Rating: 6

Mark Lim - I don't know if it's because I used to live in a cockroach infested apartment but I'm really scared of giant crabs.

Yes, they are delicious but they'll always be creepy underwater alien insects to me.

My parents love crab though so they took me to Happy Harbor in Rowland Heights California for some authentic expensive Chinese cuisine.

It's a very nice looking restaurant filled with chandeliers and golden statues of happy fat bald guys.

They have a room with large tanks so you can name your pets before you eat them

The crab tasted pretty good and it was only $7.99 a pound for a 9 pound monster which is a great deal. It was a lot more flavorful than the crabs I usually eat but I wasn't really in the mood and didn't have too much of it.

Maybe it's because I had to stare at this insect head the whole time:

I actually cut myself touching this thing. *shivers*

A shot of the inside of the restaurant

My favorite dish of the evening was the Walnut Shrimp. The shrimps were plump and juicy and the sauce was amazing. It was much better quality than I'm used to.

I loved duck when I was little but I don't really care for it anymore. The meat is really oily and fatty and there's way too many strange bones to pick out. I guess I'm just too lazy to eat it.

Here's another one of my favorite dishes. It's thin deep fried noodles with shrimp.

As much as I'd like to be a fancy food connoisseur, I'm not. I like large deep fried things I can eat with my hands in my pajamas. Even though I'm a street food kind of guy it's nice to experience a little class and culture once in a while :)

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Carl's Jr: Kentucky Bourbon Burger ($4.00) Rating: 2

Mark Lim - I think I threw up more times after eating Carl's Jr's new Kentucky Bourbon Burger than I did when I drank a whole bottle of Jim Beam.

I truly hate this burger.

The sauce was sweet like a Jolly Rancher covered in maple syrup and the entire burger is SOAKED in it. Oh, and they always give you that crappy thick white part of the lettuce which is disgusting.

I think some fancy Onion Straws might have helped...

...if they had put any on it!

Watch out! It's trying to throw up!

Carl's Jr: Kentucky Bourbon Burger

Taste ------------ (2) Disgustingly sweet
Presentation -----(2) That was an ugly burger
Price ------------- (3) $4? Worth $1.50 at the most
Quantity --------- (4) As big as a DVD
Satisfaction ----- (1) Vomit

Rating: 2 out of 10

Fast food is starting to piss me off. Instead of having gimmicks like the Candied Yam Burger they should try and learn to make a decent normal burger first.

There are guys like me who are too stupid and lazy to cook and we depend on fast food to survive. My dream is that one day someone from a big company will see my blog and say, "That burger looks disgusting. Let's try and make better ones."

If they can't fix the quality of something as simple as a burger I think you'd better start get used to using chopsticks because America is going to be taken over by China.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Mad Wolf: All You Can Eat Mongolian BBQ ($8.00) Rating: 8

Mark Lim - I like to think of Mongolian BBQ style eating as a contest between myself and the restaurant. Normally it works just like a buffet except you only get one bowl and one turn. This leads to an interesting battle.

The owners of the restaurants freeze their meats in tubular shapes so they take up more space in your bowl which increases their profit margin because you have room for less food.

What I do is insert smaller rolls of meat inside the larger rolls so I get more value. After I'm done I press the contents of the bowl down like I'm crushing a can of soda to I create more room for toppings and noodles. Yes, I am that cheap.

Anyway, I found a great place in Fullerton California called Mad Wolf that offers unlimited Mongolian BBQ for only $8! What a deal!

The process is a little different at lunch time. Instead of packing your own meat the waitress comes to your table and asks you what kind you want and then gets you a bowl of it. After that you go to the toppings bar where you load up on things like onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, cilantro, carrots, cabbage, bean sprouts, and top it off with noodles.

There's also a section with teriyaki, spicy, mild, ginger, and garlic sauces that you can combine to create different flavors for your Mongolian BBQ.

The final step is to bring your bowl to their chef who will cook your food on a super hot giant space saucer looking thing while you watch. It's pretty fun.

My favorite combo is Beef, Mushrooms and Tomatoes .

Mad Wolf: All You Can Eat Mongolian BBQ

Taste ------------ (7) Noodles and meat just the way you like it
Presentation -----(7) I love the whole process of Mongolian BBQ
Price ------------- (9) $8 is an awesome deal for all you can eat
Quantity --------- (10) Eat till you pass out!
Satisfaction ----- (8) It's pretty fun and you definitely get your fill

Rating: 8 out of 10

I feel like I'm a part of the creation process when I eat here and I always want to try out a new combination. Mad Wolf is a great restaurant to eat at and it's a wonderful value. If there isn't one around you should still check out Mongolian BBQ style eating. I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself :)

Mad Wolf
4110 N Harbor Blvd
Fullerton, CA 92835

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Hong Kong Palace: Dim Sum ($25) Rating: 8

Mark Lim - Dim Sum is a style of Chinese dinning that brings you the excitement and varieties of eating street food without all that unpleasant walking around stuff.

Here's how it works: There are about a half dozen women pushing around multi leveled carts filled with all sorts of traditional Asian goodies.

Just simply make eye contact with them as they pass your table and they will stop and begin to show you the different kinds of food they have to offer.

(Deep Fried Tarrot)

After you point and choose which little dishes you want, the waitress will mark your ticket with their special stamp and be on her way.

(Fried Radish Cake)

The carts will keep rotating around the entire restaurants with new treats so don't gorge too fast!

(Waiting for goodies!)

There are many treats ranging from fried savory seafood dishes to the strange like chicken feet and duck tongues.

(Some sort of shrimp ball)

The quantity of food usually ranges from 2 to 4 pieces per dish. They're like little appetizers!

(Deep fried shrimp thing)

My favorites always involve some sort of deep frying of seafood served with sweet and sour sauces.

(Shrimp wrapped in rice sheets)

As you eat you begin to combat for the attentions of the waitresses because the other diners are also trying to call them to their table. Sometimes you have to raise your hand in the air and whistle so they know you mean business.

(Chinese Broccoli)

Everyone in the restaurant is always hectically moving around. It really fills you with an invigorating feeling as you dine.

(Deep Fried Squid)

You have to be on your toes and you always have to designate someone as a scout so you know what food is coming to your table next. You don't want to fill up on the mediocre stuff when the good food is just around the corner!

(Red Bean Jello)

There are also many dessert carts that have different items to satisfy your sweet tooth. Red beans, tofu, and almonds are usually the main ingredients of the desserts but they have other interesting things too.

(Almond Jello)

The best part of Dim Sum is that you can try lots and lots of dishes because they come in small quantities. You really get to experience the tastes and cultures of the Chinese.

(Almond Tea Dessert)

If you just can't wait for a cart to come around you can order special foods like this Almond Tea Dessert. I had never had it before but it was by far my favorite of the day.

(The inside)

They bake a sweet almond mixture inside a pastry which you break into and eat with the soupy concoction. It's absolutely amazing!

Hong Kong Palace: Dim Sum

Taste ------------ (8) I crave their little fried seafood balls
Presentation -----(8) I love the many different plates of food
Price ------------- (7) It all depends on how much you want to gorge
Quantity --------- (7) You can eat till your wallet is empty!
Satisfaction ----- (8) I always leave full but I stereotypically get hungry again in an hour :P

Rating: 8 out of 10

As far as Dim Sum places my favorite is Hong Kong Palace in Rowland Heights California. As soon as you walk in you are transported to a far distant land filled with little 5 foot Asians screaming in different dialects and scurrying around like mice. The restaurant is alive.

Hong Kong Palace
19101 Colima Rd
Rowland Heights, CA 91748

If you haven't gone to Dim Sum and like to experience new things I suggest you go. You'll be happy you did! :)

Be Fat! Be Happy!