Carl's Jr: Kentucky Bourbon Burger ($4.00) Rating: 2

Mark Lim - I think I threw up more times after eating Carl's Jr's new Kentucky Bourbon Burger than I did when I drank a whole bottle of Jim Beam.

I truly hate this burger.

The sauce was sweet like a Jolly Rancher covered in maple syrup and the entire burger is SOAKED in it. Oh, and they always give you that crappy thick white part of the lettuce which is disgusting.

I think some fancy Onion Straws might have helped...

...if they had put any on it!

Watch out! It's trying to throw up!

Carl's Jr: Kentucky Bourbon Burger

Taste ------------ (2) Disgustingly sweet
Presentation -----(2) That was an ugly burger
Price ------------- (3) $4? Worth $1.50 at the most
Quantity --------- (4) As big as a DVD
Satisfaction ----- (1) Vomit

Rating: 2 out of 10

Fast food is starting to piss me off. Instead of having gimmicks like the Candied Yam Burger they should try and learn to make a decent normal burger first.

There are guys like me who are too stupid and lazy to cook and we depend on fast food to survive. My dream is that one day someone from a big company will see my blog and say, "That burger looks disgusting. Let's try and make better ones."

If they can't fix the quality of something as simple as a burger I think you'd better start get used to using chopsticks because America is going to be taken over by China.

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Mad Wolf: All You Can Eat Mongolian BBQ ($8.00) Rating: 8

Mark Lim - I like to think of Mongolian BBQ style eating as a contest between myself and the restaurant. Normally it works just like a buffet except you only get one bowl and one turn. This leads to an interesting battle.

The owners of the restaurants freeze their meats in tubular shapes so they take up more space in your bowl which increases their profit margin because you have room for less food.

What I do is insert smaller rolls of meat inside the larger rolls so I get more value. After I'm done I press the contents of the bowl down like I'm crushing a can of soda to I create more room for toppings and noodles. Yes, I am that cheap.

Anyway, I found a great place in Fullerton California called Mad Wolf that offers unlimited Mongolian BBQ for only $8! What a deal!

The process is a little different at lunch time. Instead of packing your own meat the waitress comes to your table and asks you what kind you want and then gets you a bowl of it. After that you go to the toppings bar where you load up on things like onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, cilantro, carrots, cabbage, bean sprouts, and top it off with noodles.

There's also a section with teriyaki, spicy, mild, ginger, and garlic sauces that you can combine to create different flavors for your Mongolian BBQ.

The final step is to bring your bowl to their chef who will cook your food on a super hot giant space saucer looking thing while you watch. It's pretty fun.

My favorite combo is Beef, Mushrooms and Tomatoes .

Mad Wolf: All You Can Eat Mongolian BBQ

Taste ------------ (7) Noodles and meat just the way you like it
Presentation -----(7) I love the whole process of Mongolian BBQ
Price ------------- (9) $8 is an awesome deal for all you can eat
Quantity --------- (10) Eat till you pass out!
Satisfaction ----- (8) It's pretty fun and you definitely get your fill

Rating: 8 out of 10

I feel like I'm a part of the creation process when I eat here and I always want to try out a new combination. Mad Wolf is a great restaurant to eat at and it's a wonderful value. If there isn't one around you should still check out Mongolian BBQ style eating. I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself :)

Mad Wolf
4110 N Harbor Blvd
Fullerton, CA 92835

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Hong Kong Palace: Dim Sum ($25) Rating: 8

Mark Lim - Dim Sum is a style of Chinese dinning that brings you the excitement and varieties of eating street food without all that unpleasant walking around stuff.

Here's how it works: There are about a half dozen women pushing around multi leveled carts filled with all sorts of traditional Asian goodies.

Just simply make eye contact with them as they pass your table and they will stop and begin to show you the different kinds of food they have to offer.

(Deep Fried Tarrot)

After you point and choose which little dishes you want, the waitress will mark your ticket with their special stamp and be on her way.

(Fried Radish Cake)

The carts will keep rotating around the entire restaurants with new treats so don't gorge too fast!

(Waiting for goodies!)

There are many treats ranging from fried savory seafood dishes to the strange like chicken feet and duck tongues.

(Some sort of shrimp ball)

The quantity of food usually ranges from 2 to 4 pieces per dish. They're like little appetizers!

(Deep fried shrimp thing)

My favorites always involve some sort of deep frying of seafood served with sweet and sour sauces.

(Shrimp wrapped in rice sheets)

As you eat you begin to combat for the attentions of the waitresses because the other diners are also trying to call them to their table. Sometimes you have to raise your hand in the air and whistle so they know you mean business.

(Chinese Broccoli)

Everyone in the restaurant is always hectically moving around. It really fills you with an invigorating feeling as you dine.

(Deep Fried Squid)

You have to be on your toes and you always have to designate someone as a scout so you know what food is coming to your table next. You don't want to fill up on the mediocre stuff when the good food is just around the corner!

(Red Bean Jello)

There are also many dessert carts that have different items to satisfy your sweet tooth. Red beans, tofu, and almonds are usually the main ingredients of the desserts but they have other interesting things too.

(Almond Jello)

The best part of Dim Sum is that you can try lots and lots of dishes because they come in small quantities. You really get to experience the tastes and cultures of the Chinese.

(Almond Tea Dessert)

If you just can't wait for a cart to come around you can order special foods like this Almond Tea Dessert. I had never had it before but it was by far my favorite of the day.

(The inside)

They bake a sweet almond mixture inside a pastry which you break into and eat with the soupy concoction. It's absolutely amazing!

Hong Kong Palace: Dim Sum

Taste ------------ (8) I crave their little fried seafood balls
Presentation -----(8) I love the many different plates of food
Price ------------- (7) It all depends on how much you want to gorge
Quantity --------- (7) You can eat till your wallet is empty!
Satisfaction ----- (8) I always leave full but I stereotypically get hungry again in an hour :P

Rating: 8 out of 10

As far as Dim Sum places my favorite is Hong Kong Palace in Rowland Heights California. As soon as you walk in you are transported to a far distant land filled with little 5 foot Asians screaming in different dialects and scurrying around like mice. The restaurant is alive.

Hong Kong Palace
19101 Colima Rd
Rowland Heights, CA 91748

If you haven't gone to Dim Sum and like to experience new things I suggest you go. You'll be happy you did! :)

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Chipotle Mexican Grill: Steak Burrito ($6.00) Rating: 6

Mark Lim - If you like Mexican food but don't like all that strange ethnic stuff then Chipotle "Mexican" Grill is perfect for you!

The food there lacks the authentic tastes of a local tacqueria stand but their burritos are ok. They have a fresh and clean taste which normally you'd think would be a good thing but when I'm craving a burrito I want a greasy, oily, salty, dense, and satisfying one. Their food almost looks... healthy...

Chipotle is the last place I'd go to fill my animalistic hunger. They're about as Mexican as, let's say, Tom Cruise.

Here's their Steak Burrito. No grease stains at the bottom! Damn!

Holding my burrito like a baby

Look how clean it is! Yuck!

Their Steak Burritos consist of small lean cubes of steak, pinto beans, seasoned white rice, sour cream, and choice of sauce.

Chipotle Mexican Grill: Steak Burrito

Taste ------------ (6) Decent burrito but lacks ethic flavor
Presentation -----(8) Nice and simple
Price ------------- (7) $6 is a good price forits size
Quantity --------- (7) Pretty big
Satisfaction ----- (5) I just never feel complete when I eat there

Rating: 6 out of 10

I think Chipotle lies somewhere between Taco Bell and a good authentic Mexican restaurant. It's not quite fast food and it's definitely not a taqueria. It's most likely going to be the next McDonald's so you'll probably be seeing one on every corner in the future. It's no replacement for good Mexican food but it sure is convenient.

Oh, by the way... This is how a burrito should look:

Carne Asada Burrito from the taqueria :) They cut it straight off a giant piece of beef!

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Oh! If you're bored check out my new Economy blog at: www.RecessionMan.com :) Thanks!

Shiki Restaurant: 5 Specialty Sushi Rolls: ($60) Rating: 8

Mark Lim - When I eat sushi I want to be served by Asians. There, I said it. Sure, there are other places with better tasting and more unique sushi than Shiki but the atomosphere, people, and the service are what make it my favorite restaurant. Asians! Yes, there are actually Asians that work there!

Chomp in Fullerton, CA has some awesomely creative rolls but it's always packed, you have to wait 20-45 minutes to be seated, and instead of being served by people from the Far East you're being served by people... further south.

I mean, if I want authentic Mexican food I want to be served by Mexicans. There, I said it again.

Here's the fierce Dragon Roll with fresh Eel.

Holding up Shiki Crunch Rolls

More Crunch Roll action

The Shiki Roll! I think. I totally forgot. This one had an assortment of raw fish on top of each roll.

This one is my favorite because I love love love that red roe.

Kings Roll with... I honestly don't know but I remember it was hot, like in a heat sort of way.

Shiki Restaurant: 5 Different Sushi Rolls

Taste ------------ (7) Not the best but still very good.
Presentation -----(9) I love my Dragon Roll!
Price ------------- (7) $9-$14 a roll isn't too bad.
Quantity --------- (8) Lots and lots of food!
Satisfaction ----- (9) I always leave full and happy

Rating: 8 out of 10

There's a lot to be said about Shiki. The service is great. The owner comes around to every table and greets you, there's almost always a booth open for you so you don't have to wait, and it's just a peaceful quiet atmosphere. The place has character and the people that frequent there are pretty nice.

If you like sushi you've got to go to Shiki. I'll see you there!

Shiki Restaurant
1936 E Katella Ave
Orange, CA 92867

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The Yard House: Margherita Pizza and Hawaiian Burger ($24) Rating: 3

Mark Lim - Do you know why The Yard House has 160 different brands of draft beers? Because you have to be pretty drunk to eat their food! Bad-dum ching!

Ok, that wasn't really a joke but their expensive pizzas and burgers were.

I asked the waitress what her favorite pizza was and she told me she liked hers plain so I decided to order the Margherita which is a pizza brushed with olive oil instead of sauce and has oven roasted roma tomatoes, chunks of whole roasted garlic, mozzarella, and basil.

It doesn't look like it but this was the most boring pizza I've ever had.

The pizza was bland but the roasted garlics were really flavorful. The garlics would have saved the pizza if there had been more than 4 random chunks. They were strewn in the corners like dirty socks after a long day.

The Hawaiian Burger had the strangest texture because it offered no resistance to my mouth. It was like eating a beefy cotton candy. The bun, cheese, pineapple, and beef had the consistency of baby food. It was very odd.

The burger came with it's own dipping sauce but it didn't really do much for it. The $12 price tag didn't help either.

The Yard House: Margherita Pizza and Hawaiian Burger

Taste ------------ (2) Totally lame
Presentation -----(5) Pizza looked good. Burger didn't
Price ------------- (1) $24? It was worth half that
Availability ----- (8) Lots of Yard Houses
Quantity --------- (6) There's a decent amount of food
Satisfaction ----- (2) The Yard House is in the dog house

Rating: 3 out of 10

Great place for beers, bad place for food.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

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The Hat: Pastrami Chili Fries and Double Cheese Burger ($18) Rating: 8

Mark Lim - Lauren had never been to The Hat so my friends, just like bearded old wise men, regaled her with stories of the mythical Pastrami Chili Fries Monster that lived at the heart of the eatery. After listening to the tales we started our journey.

It was a long and epic battle at the drive thru but I was able to capture the beast with my ATM card. On our way home Lauren tried to sneak a peek at the mound of pastrami and chili wrapped in butcher paper but I had to stop her. "Don't disturb it." I said. "You'll wake it."

When we got home I showed her what my friends meant:

This is the $12 pastrami, chili, cheese, french fries, tomatoes, onions, and pickles monster.

I think we've made it angry

I stab you with my +5 Strength Fork of Doom!

Eating the remains and giving the gods of finance (Suze Orman) a sacred offering.

The entrails

AND a Double cheese burger! Geez!

The super awesomely salty world famous Pastrami complimented the slightly smooth and creamy meat chili. The tomatoes were sweet and the pickles completed the flavor rainbow with a much needed sour kick in the face.

The hamburger was really good as well. It has two large meat patties covered in cheese, lettuce, onions, and a nice sweet and tangy mayo sauce. It rocks.

I love The Hat but it's one of those places that you have to gorge yourself to the point where you say, "I'm not going back there for a month." to fully experience it.

The Hat: Pastrami Chili Fries and Double Cheese Burger

Taste ------------ (9) Awesomely greasy
Presentation -----(9) It's breathtaking
Price ------------- (6) $12 for super fries is kind of expensive
Availability ----- (6) Not a lot around
Quantity --------- (9) That's a meal I tell you what
Satisfaction ----- (8) Great but you're going to feel it in the morning

Rating: 8 out of 10

If you've never been to the hat and love pastrami you've got to go. I suggest you get the world famous pastrami sandwich and gravy fries. I will next month!

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