Pinks vs The Swap Meet Hot Dog

Mark Lim - I crossed my fingers as I neared Pinks and prayed that the line for hot dogs didn't wrap around the building. Usually when I drive by there I see a huge crowd of people that look like they're camping out for Van Halen tickets but this time I was lucky and only had to wait 20 minutes.

On their walls are what seemed like hundreds of autographed photos of celebrities and next to them were signs apologizing for not accepting credit or debit cards. I panicked. I frantically checked my wallet and dug deep into my pockets looking for loose change but was only able to scavenge $4.35. I had visions of eating mounds of uniquely flavored hot dogs and shoveling handfuls of chili fries into my mouth but my dreams were shattered.

Luckily Lauren had $4 and was able to lend me 30 cents so I could get the Triple Bacon Chili and Cheese Hot Dog with Tomatoes.

Mmm... ($4.65)

A woman stared as we took pictures of each other with our new meaty friends and probably thought, "Damn those tourists!"

The greasy juicy goodness dripped all over my face and hands as I ate my Triple Bacon Chili and Cheese Hot Dog with Tomatoes and a tear slowly fell from my eye. We live in an awesome country.

The World Famous Pinks Chili Dog with Onions ($3.10)

My only regret is that I didn't get to try the many awesome specialty hot dogs like the "Huell Howser" that has two hot dogs in one bun or the Ozzy Spicy Dog with a Polish sausage, nacho cheese, and guacamole. Simply amazing.

Pinks
709 N. La Brea Blvd.
LA, CA 90038

If you've ever been in LA there are illegal hot dog vendors cooking up special "Border Style Hot Dogs" on little stoves or even shopping carts on random corners of the street. These dirty little dogs are some of my favorite things to eat.

I was at the Santa Fe Swap Meet and had a found a nice Border Style Hot Dog booth and sampled one of their combos.

I had to use my cellphone camera because I forgot my memory card but luckily we were at the swap meet and I was able to haggle for one after lunch.

Mine was covered with Mayo, Relish, Grilled Onions, Jalapenos, with a Hot Dog wrapped in Bacon. It was pretty good but it lacked the whole purchasing it from a woman cooking your meat on aluminum foil on a busy street.

Both hot dogs from Pinks and the Swap Meet rocked and I could have probably eaten 4 more if they let me unbutton my pants. It was a cool experience to go to such an awesome eatery landmark. Maybe one day they'll hang my photo up at Pinks:


Be Fat! Be Happy!

Chomps Sushi ($25) Rating: 8

Mark Lim - Combine Americanized Japanese dinning with douche bags sporting spiky frosted tip highlights and you've got Chomps. This restaurant is located near the strip of bars near downtown Fullerton (California) and is always full of drunken quad riding mixed martial arts wannabe "Bros" and scantily clad women belting out off key Journey songs. It's got its charms and if you're in the mood it's an awesome place but if you're looking for fine dinning atmosphere look elsewhere.

The food is impressive though. They fuse ingredients like cream cheese and jalapeno salsa into their sushi which give them a really interesting flavor. Their sauces are what make their rolls. The service speed is also amazing.

The first thing we ordered was the Crunch Roll. They fill it with crab, avocado, and tempura shrimp and drizzle a sticky sweet soy sauce all over it. I really enjoyed it.

Lauren and I enjoying our sushi

The next roll we had was a salt water eel roll which was also great. The presentation of the food was well done.

This orange monster is called the Kings Roll. It has shrimp tempura, avocado and crab meat baked with salmon, shrimp and covered in spicy "Cruzin" sauce.

I don't have a very discriminating palate. I can't tell the difference between a freshly made meal and a week old microwaved one but I think this dish was my favorite because the flavor was so much more powerful than the other rolls. I can taste it just by thinking about it. That's totally Jedi.

Our final dish was the Explosion Roll with explosion sauce. Here's the description: "fresh water eel, cream cheese, avocado and crab meat rolled and deep fried tempura style and topped with both our sweet eel and Cruzin' Sauces." I have ordered this before but it wasn't as good this time because there was too much cream cheese. It felt like I was taking a huge bite out of those silver foiled Philidelphia sticks. Sauce was good though.

Chomps Sushi:

Taste ------------ (8) Innovative rolls
Presentation -----(9) The stuff looked great on the plates
Price ------------- (7) It's about $12 a roll
Availability ----- (6) Not a lot around
Quantity --------- (8) I hardly get full on sushi but this was fine
Satisfaction ----- (8) Always enjoy the food. The atmosphere... not so much

Rating: 8 out of 10

When I'm out at a bar I don't mind the drunken screaming but when I'm eating I need some sort of quiet to savor my food. Trying to enjoy a meal to a censored Snoop Dogg's 'Ain't No Fun' (look up the song, it's classic) can be pretty funny though.

The food is totally unique and if you're out with your friends this is a really good place to go. I like Chomps, sometimes.

Be fat! Be happy!

(Make sure to visit my DirtyFilthyMoney.com blog too because I just updated it!)

McDonald's: Big Mac ($1.75) Rating: 4

Mark Lim - Barrack Obama was being inaugurated as the 44th person to become President of the United States so I decided to eat the most patriotic hamburger I could think of:

The Big Mac

I swore to myself that I wouldn't go back to McDonald's unless it was a life or death situation but as I passed one on the street I saw a huge sign on the window: 2 Big Mac's for $3.50. Could it be? A Big Mac for $1.75? I couldn't pass up such an awesome deal.

Apparently my roommate saw the sign too so we decided to split 4 Big Mac's for breakfast. He also has some McDonald's horror stories but we felt so cheap that day that we had to do it.

Mmm... "Meat"

The Big Mac is a pretty interesting burger. It's got two "meat" patties seperated by a middle bun and sandwiched between lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, special sauce, and another set of buns.

The sauce is a sweet and tangy thousand island dressing and gives the Big Mac its unique taste.

It's really not a bad burger but as the day progresses you begin to feel its effects. I knew it was coming and so did my roommate. After we pounded our 2 Big Mac's a piece we sat around and I kept asking him, "Do you feel it yet? Do you?"

McDonald's - 2 Big Macs

Calories - 1080 - Fat -58g - Sodium - 2080mg - Carbs - 90g

Taste ------------ (6) Pretty good at first. Didn't last though
Presentation -----(8) The box and the burger looked nice
Price ------------- (9) $3.50 for 2? Awesome deal!
Availability ----- (10) Yeah, it's Mcdonald's.
Quantity --------- (9) That's a lot of food for $3.50
Satisfaction ----- (1) I was in pain

Rating: 4 out of 10

Ok, the scores are pretty high for a lot of the categories but the satisfaction factor totally annihilated any of the good points of the Big Mac.

I could not function the rest of the day after eating it. There's something about McDonald's food that just destroys my entire body and causes me to feel like I've been inseminated with a sharp and craggy alien baby.

It was absolutely horrifying. The human body was not meant to ingest 2 Big Macs in one day. I was left broken, depressed, and defeated. I will never do that again.

If you are interested in reading more of my work please check out my business blog at: DirtyFilthyMoney.com which I just updated today too :)

Be fat! Be happy!

Chris' & Pitt's: Ribs, Chicken, Blooming Onion ($20.00) Rating: 7

Mark Lim - Chris' & Pitt's is a Southern California BBQ joint that has been around since I can remember. The place is almost always packed with jolly patrons and screaming kids and the decor looks like it hasn't changed in 50 years.

The best thing they've got there is their super seasoned blooming onion:

Golden slivers of sweet and crunchy onions deep fried to perfection. They add some sort of spice which gives it a kick and they serve it with their special Chris' & Pitt's BBQ Sauce. Definitely the best blooming onion in town.

I normally get their Prime Rib with aujous and horseradish which is usually pretty good but I wanted to try something new.

I was feeling hungry so I ordered the half chicken and ribs combo. Parts of the BBQ chicken were over cooked and tasted very tough and hard but the parts that were fattier were much better. The ribs weren't that great and were way over sauced but the price ($17) was right. The onion rings were the best I've had in a long time. Their fried stuff kicked their BBQ'ed stuff's butt.

The broasted chicken was awesome. The technique to broasting is to combine pressure cooking with deep frying which causes the chicken skin to be super crisp and crunchy while keeping the meat inside juicy. It's my favorite way to have my chicken cooked.

The ribs were quite generic tasting and the food wasn't as good as I remembered. I had to use a napkin to dab the sauce off the ribs so it didn't taste like I was just spooning ketchup in my mouth.

Chris' & Pitt's - Ribs, Broasted and BBQ Chicken, Blooming Onion

Taste ------------ (6) Not that spectacular
Presentation -----(7) It's a nice big plate of goodies
Price ------------- (8) It's a pretty good deal for the amount
Availability ----- (5) Only in Southern California
Quantity --------- (8) Lots of food. Didn't finish
Satisfaction ----- (7) I was full and ate it for breakfast the next day

Rating: 7 out of 10

Overall the place is pretty good. It's certainly not the best BBQ in the world or the nicest looking place but the portions are great and it's a pretty casual place, the price is right, and they give you a hot towel at the end to wipe away your shame.

I'll be back for the onion and chicken.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

If you like my blogs please check out my business one at: www.DirtyFilthyMoney.com!

Burger King: Angry Whopper ($5.60) Rating: 6

Mark Lim - Burger King has unleashed a brand new spicy dirty bomb in my mouth in hopes to turn the tides of the Burger Wars. What is this Weapon of Mass Deliciousness you ask? It's The Angry Whopper.

After seeing the commercial on TV I started to mentally prepare myself for consumption. I imagined that eating it would cause me to hallucinate and travel to a magical land with pyramids and a talking coyote voiced by Johnny Cash much like Homer did when he ate the Guatemalan Insanity Pepper.

So after much meditation and milk drinking I went to my local Burger King and purchased an Angry Whopper.



I was very pleased because the burger actually looked good. The Burger King I purchased it from was in a much nicer neighborhood than the one I usually get it from so your experience will vary depending on which Burger King you go to.


After opening the hood I saw that the spicy onions and jalapenos were few and far between. It was nothing like the billboard and commercials. Surprise Surprise.


I took a monster bite and waited for fire to shoot out of my mouth but there was nothing. Not even a tiny little tingle. I was hoping to bust out of my shirt like the Hulk or be furious like I had been blamed for a crime committed by the One-Armed-Man but was more like, "Aww, man! Someone deleted my favorite Tivo show! Oh, but wait... they're going to show it again in an hour." kind of angry.


I was so disappointed that there was no heat or spice that it overshadowed the fact that the burger was actually pretty good. If someone on the street had handed me this burger and asked me if I liked it I would say I did but since they hyped it up to be a nuclear bomb in your mouth I was very unsatisfied.

Burger King - Double Angry Whopper

Calories - 1120 - Fat -55g - Sodium - 1720mg - Carbs - 59g

Taste ------------ (7) Pretty good. Not Spicy though
Presentation -----(7) Looked good in the rich side of town
Price ------------- (1) $5-$6 Way too expensive
Availability ----- (8) Lots of them around
Quantity --------- (6) It's decent sized
Satisfaction ----- (3) Taste the meat not the heat

Overall it's a good burger if you don't mind spending $6 on an overpriced overrated marketing gimmick. It's certainly the best burger I've reviewed from Burger King.

Oh, I also posted a new blog on my other site at DirtyFilthyMoney.com so go check it out!

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Cafe Sierra (Burbank, CA) - Rating: 7

Mark Lim - For some reason the fatter I get the less I want to blog about my obesity. I have promised myself that not matter how morbidly chunkafied I get, I will force myself to write about it.

Once a year my family and I dine in decadence. We stuff ourselves with all forms of multi-legged and tentacled creatures to the point of hallucination.

Cafe Sierra is a ritzy buffet filled with all sorts of goodies and here's some of them:

Way too salty crab legs, Prime Rib, Scallops, and for some reason the Lobster was soggy. It was like eating Wonderbread drenched in mayonaise.

Mmm... Crab Legs

I actually thought I got a bad lobster but it turns out they all tasted funky. Not sure what happend but it wasn't very good.

Here's a plate of Shrimp, Walnut Shrimp, Shrimp Dumplings, a Sushi Hand Roll, and Shark Fin Soup. The Walnut Shrimp was the best thing there.

Here's the woman who touched my hand rolls.

The Chefs manning the meat

Sushi Bar

Random desserts

Buffage

I've got crab legs and I know how to use them.

I was actually pretty disappointed with Cafe Sierra because it wasn't as good as it was last year. The food tasted kind of old and bland and it just wasn't as exciting. It's a pretty decent deal for $50 a person and still totally beats 50 McDonalds Double Cheese Burgers.

I hope next year they redeem themselves.

Burger King: Mushroom Swiss Steakhouse Burger ($6.00) Rating: 3

Mark Lim - Yay! Burger King's has found a way to add more crap inside a bun just in time for Halloween!

Yes, the Mushroom Swiss Steakhouse Burger with mystery sauce and onion straws is the perfect burger to have if you've ever swallowed poison and need help regurgitating to save your life.

What they tell you it looks like:

What it actually looks like:

Look! It's trying to say something! "KILL ME NOW"

The good thing about these BK Steakhouse burgers is if you get angry and decide to throw it against the wall it'll look exactly the same.


Burger King - Mushroom Swiss Steakhouse Burger

Calories - 970 - Fat -55g - Sodium - 2190mg - Carbs - 63g

Taste ------------ (3) (Insert Puke Noise)
Presentation -----(1) Another gross BK creation
Price ------------- (3) $4-$5 C'mon. It's just not worth it.
Availability ----- (8) Lots of them around
Quantity --------- (3) It's a pretty small burger
Satisfaction ----- (1) That was nasty and all sorts of wrong

Rating: 3 out of 10

The Burger King Steakhouse family of burgers is by far the worst of the worst especially in the aesthetics department. My first BK specialty burger was the Loaded Steakhouse and I swore never to eat another one again but here I am 5 months later getting suckered into eat a Mushroom Swiss Steakhouse and I'm pissed.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, lock me up because I've lost my will to live.

It's gross. Please avoid.