It Has Come to This - Peanut Butter and Mayo Song

Mark - I've been very unhealthy and poor lately so I haven't been able to buy fancy burgers. I'm on a new P90x workout program cause my chins are starting to slap together but here's the kind of horrible meals I've been forced to eat while broke and fat.

Filipino Food - Deep Fried Intestines

Mark Lim - It's that awkward transition from sharp crunchy bits into soft oily chewy mush that makes it so special. Deep fried intestines anyone?

Filipinos call this gout inducing dish chicharon bituka and I always have a craving for it whenever I go to a Turo-Turo style restaurant.

Turo-Turo literally means "point-point" and is similar to the ordering style of a Panda Express or the pre-cooked dinner section at your local supermarket which I used to refer to as the "Lonely Single Man's Restaurant."

Deep Fried Intestines of Random Animal

Mmm... Gout Inducing...

For my second pick I always order the longaniza which is cured sausage wrapped in MORE intestines. It's bright red and has a sweet flavor which I think compliments organ meats and intestines.


I don't know if it's typical for someone to order like this since I think Filipinos consider the deep fried intestines and the longaniza both side dishes. I think it'd be like me ordering a bowl of rice served with french fries and mashed potatoes. Hmm... actually that sounds kind of good.

Up close and personal with what once carried bile.

It's not for everyone. It's a greasy chewy crunchy delight that once housed the processed food of the animal it was stripped from but I love it. Go try some :)

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Aloha Mixed Plate (Hawaii) Rating: 9

Mark Lim - Hey guys! It's been a while I know. They weighed me at the doctor's office and I was pretty impressed with my obesity... my doctor was not.

I figured I would take a break, get healthy, and come back with an appetite and the metabolism to back it up. Unfortunately it's not working and I'm still getting fatter so you know what? Screw it. Let's just be fat and happy.

This review is of a place we went to in Hawaii called Aloha Mixed Plate. During our honeymoon we went to all sorts of expensive restaurants in Maui but this small inexpensive place was my favorite. Each meal only cost about $8 and it was right by the beach!

Loco Moco

On our trip I discovered something called Loco Moco. It's just a fried egg and hamburger pattie on top of rice covered with brown gravy. It was amazing. I know it sounds simple and doesn't look very appetizing but it was amazing. I tried making it at home and it just wasn't the same. It's probably because I used crappy Good Value Walmart brand ingredients.

Kalua Pork and Laulau

My next favorite meal was the Kalua Pork and Laulau. I had Kalua Pork at a couple other restaurants but Aloha Mixed Plate had the best. The Laulau was tender and juicy with a hint of banana leaf flavor that really made the meat perfect.

Mark and Loco Moco

Teriyaki Burger

My wife got the Teriyaki Burger which confused me since we were in Hawaii and we could probably picked one up at any Carl's Jr. on the mainland. It definitely wasn't as good as my meals.

Coconut Shrimp

Mmm... Coconut shrimp. These were so light and crispy and came with the perfect sweet and tangy dipping sauce.

If you're ever in Maui you've got to go to Aloha Mixed Plate! Save yourself $50 and eat here instead of that expensive restaurant. Trust me!

I promise I'll blog more now that I've decided that being fat is ok.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Father's Day Dim Sum at Hong Kong Palace

Mark Lim - Have you ever seen a white guy eat pork blood cubes? I have. Last Father's Day my wife and I took both our parents and sisters to eat at Hong Kong Palace in Rowland Heights CA. It was quite an experience.

Hong Kong Palace is one of my Asian family's favorite restaurants and I've been there many times in my life and I've actually reviewed it on Oh So Fat before so this blog isn't about the food as much as it is about my new family joining us for one of our favorite Asian traditions.

Our family - Father-in-Law Don, My Dad, Me, Sister Bree, Wife Lauren, Mother-in-Law Brenda, Sister Chelsea, and My Mom

Here are the steaming gelatinous Pork Blood Cubes

My Asian family and I have been going to dim sum for many many years and we have never had the courage to try the pork blood cubes. We would watch people order it from across the restaurant and say things like, "I can't believe they're eating that!"

I really didn't want to order a full bowl because if it was disgusting (and it was) I didn't want a pile of it sitting in the middle of our lazy susan. My father talked to the waitress and got us a little sampler plate for all of us to try. The first victim was my Father-in-Law, Don.

We were all very surprised that he didn't vomit. He said it tasted like liver and that boosted our confidence to the point where we all decided to try it too. Bree was second and she said it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Brenda likes liver so she had a tiny piece and said it wasn't that gross either.

I thought I'd try to out do them and eat the biggest chunk. Boy that was a bad idea.

I don't know exactly why it made me gag. I like liver too but this was like eating liver jello. It was pretty disgusting and I could taste it in my mouth for the rest of the day. There's video of me eating it but it cuts out right after I put it in my mouth.

My nephew, Dean, trying to eat some goodies

Other than my pork blood experience our Dim Sum day was great. We had wonderful variety and the opportunity to be culinary adventurous. Both sides had a great time sharing stories and eating different types of Chinese cuisine. It was good old fashioned family fun.

I really hope you guys get a chance to share in this interesting and exciting style of dining. I highly recommend it!

Be Fat! Be Happy

Genki Sushi (Hawaii)- Goodies Served on a Conveyor Belt

Mark Lim - Genki Sushi is what I imagine a restaurant would be like on planet Mars. I can picture a young Arnold Schwarzenegger from Total Recall sitting at a booth by the conveyor belt being served sushi by a three breasted mutant.

This place is cool.

If you're still confused, here's a video of how it works:

A sushi chef creates a variety of wonderful Japanese treats and places them on the conveyor belt so they can make a trip around the restaurant and eventually into your mouth.

You can always order straight from the menu but the fun part is waiting to see what random goodies pass by your table.

Each item comes on a colored plate which represents how much the goodie is. For example, the picture above is a spicy tuna roll and since it's on a green plate it only costs $1.50. The "Explosion Roll" bellow is more expensive so it's placed on a black plate which means it costs $5.00.

At the end of the meal your server adds up all your colored plates and gives you a final total. The sushi is real affordable but it's easy to get carried away when you become mesmerized by the slow moving conveyor.

I don't know if it's because I have the mind of a child but I got extremely giddy watching food go round and round the restaurant. After a while I was pulling plates off the conveyor belt, not because I was hungry but because it was satisfying to grab random stuff.

Hot Dog Sushi

My wife had to give me the evil eye because I wouldn't stop. After our meal I asked how much the most 2 people have ever spent at Genki and he said $70. On our first trip we ended up spending $65 coming in at a close second. I then started to feel real bad for the people who sat down belt from us. I barely let any food get past me.

Genki Sushi

Taste ------------ (6) Not the best sushi but decent for the price

Presentation -----(9) It's like eating in the future

Price ------------- (9) $1.50 - $5.00 a plate is affordable

Quantity --------- (7) The portions are good for the price

Satisfaction ----- (8) I liked it so much I went 2 more times

Rating: 8 out of 10

Okay, so the food wasn't all that great but the experience was. I had a great time eating there and I always left satisfied. If you've got one in your area I recommend trying it. :)

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Exercising so I can Gorge

Mark Lim - If I want to ever live past 40 I'm going to have to start exercising. I don't like exercising so I mask it with my awesome dance moves.

Hopefully with this daily routine I will burn enough calories that I can stuff my face whenever I want.

In & Out - Double Double

Mark Lim - To All Fast Food Companies: Yes, my curiosity is perked when you top your burger with bleu cheese, portabello mushrooms, pineapples, clams, tripe, sushi, and soak it all in au jus, but you'll never make a good burger if you can't get the basics right.

In & Out's menu is as simple as it gets because they've focused all their talents into one thing: Making a good burger. They have the best quality control when it comes to Fast Food. Their burgers are juicy, flavorful and In & Out is pretty awesome when you're talking about consistency.

Here's a video of me eating a Double Double. I stopped by my dad's dry cleaners to run his shop for the day and he got me lunch. It got a little busy so the burger sat out for about half an hour so it wasn't as good as it normally was, but that was my fault. Enjoy.

In & Out: Double Double

Taste ------------ (9) Great patties, lettuce always good, awesome sauce

Presentation -----(7) Usually pretty good, I let this one sit out for a while though

Price ------------- (9) $3 is a good price for a Double Double

Quantity --------- (7) A pretty big burger for the price

Satisfaction ----- (8) I love me some In & Out

Rating: 9 out of 10

The Double Double is probably the burger I most frequently eat. There's just something comforting about it. I can always count on getting a good quality burger from In & Out.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Wendy's Bacon Bleu Burger Review

Mark Lim - When I was a little kid I would wait all week for Saturday morning because I knew that was the day I would see some rocking toy commercials that would change my life.

Now that I'm an adult and can't play with toys I still wait all week for new commercials but this time it's for burgers.

My new obsession has been the Wendy's Bacon Bleu Burger. The commercial is tantalizing, hypnotic, and always tempting me with it's apple wood smoked bacon and perfect chunks of bleu cheese blanketing a juicy square bun.

I decided this would be the perfect post for my first video review. I know it's gross and impolite to talk with my mouth full but I'm getting too old to care. Here's the vid:

Talking with my mouth full

Wendy's Bacon Bleu Burger

Looks like a man screaming with open sores in his mouth

The tomato looks lonely. Maybe it should try eHarmony for fruits.

Wendy's: Bacon Bleu Burger

Taste ------------ (8) That bleu cheese and bacon worked really well together

Presentation -----(5) Slightly repulsive

Price ------------- (4) $5 for this? What a rip.

Quantity --------- (5) A Medium sized burger

Satisfaction ----- (6) The taste was unique but it was expensive and lacked presentation.

Rating: 6 out of 10

I hope watching my video review didn't make you guys too sick. Would I get this again? No, but ask me again if I ever win the lotto.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Calr's Jr. - Grilled Cheese Bacon Sandwich ($7.00 Super Sized Combo) Rating: 7

Mark Lim - Vegetarians rejoice! Carl's Jr. has come out with a brand new Grilled Cheese Sandwich just for all you herbivores out there. Huzzah!

(Oh, don't forget to remind them to hold all the fatty beef patty and delicious bacon strips)

Yes, Carl's Grilled Cheese Sammy wasn't exactly what I expected. I love my massive amounts of meat but I was hoping for more of a tasty cheese focused sandwich. Clearly it wasn't.

Carl's Grilled Cheese Bacon Burger

Enjoying my not so vegetarian sandwich

It's a pretty good looking and tasting but it wasn't anything special. It tastes just like any other sandwich they have except there's an extra slice of cheese in it. There's nothing new or exciting, just another gimmick using the same old ingredients.

They could have tried something really weird like a Mozzarella Cheese Stick Sandwich. That would have been so awesome. Instead they played it safe and just made something quite boring.

Carl's Jr: Grilled Cheese Bacon Sandwich

Taste ------------ (8) A good tasting sammy but very boring

Presentation -----(8) Made well, looked very appetizing

Price ------------- (6) A little expensive

Quantity --------- (7) A good amount of cheese and meat

Satisfaction ----- (7) Happy but not enlightened

Rating: 7 out of 10

In a world of Ipads and Blue dragon riding 3d Space Elves, I think Carl's Jr. could be a little more innovative with their Grilled Cheese. Would I get this again? Yeah, but only to remind my taste buds how forgettable this sandwich is.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

The Farm House - 2lb Burger Challenge

Mark Lim - One of my dreams is to have my picture framed and displayed on a steakhouse wall. I want strangers to admire it and say, "Wow. That guy ate a chunk of meat the size of a hubcap in under 12 minutes."

Alas, I have yet to find a place to challenge my cholesterol cravings. The Farm House in Beaumont California did have a unique offer though. If you can eat their 2lbs of meat burger you win a free cookie. I had to do it. I must not dishonor my family.

"The Justin Burger"

Check out those two 1lb beef patties covered in cheese. Mmmm...

Here's how big it is relative to my head, and remember my head is gigantic.

Needless to say I finished the burger and the waitress was so impressed that she gave me an extra cookie. I didn't stop there though. I had to try Lauren's Chili Cheese Omelette.

Mmm... overindulgence...

Overall it was a pretty good experience. The Farm House is one of the most interesting places I've ever eaten. There's even a giant chicken statue outside

If you guys are ever in Beaumont California I suggest you try it out! It's my new favorite restaurant, and not just because I live in the middle of nowhere.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Jack in the Box - Jumbo Deal ($3.50) - Rating: 6

Mark Lim - What's more appealing to you, an 8 ounce tin of Beluga Caviar or 1,708 deep fried beef tacos? How about a slice of finely marbled Kobe Beef Steak or 300 cheese-less Jumbo Jacks? Would you rather drink a bottle of 1787 Chateau d'Expensive or 8,547 gallons of Sprite?

This is what Jack in the Box asks with its $3.49 Jumbo Deal. Quantity or Quality? That's the question.

I hate to say it but in most situations I lean towards value over taste. This probably explains why I subject myself to mass amounts of fast food and discount meats.

The Jumbo Deal from Jack in the Box consists of: A Jumbo Jack (No Cheese), Two Fried Beef Tacos, a Small French Fry, and a Small Drink for $3.50. By purchasing all of these together you save about 50 cents which makes this a pretty rockin deal if you've got kids, a mortgage, and a car payment.

Quality: The Jumbo Jack is a sad looking burger but it does try pretty hard by adding tomatoes and lettuce which are the "truffles" of the Dollar Menu world.

The Tacos are an acquired taste. They have a strange texture which I can only describe as crispy soggy. The beef is mixed with a soy filling to help it keep the consistency and flavor of dog food.

Jack in the Box - Jumbo Deal ($3.50)

Taste ------------ (6) Better than your average Dollar Menu
Presentation ---(4) A heaping pile of food, Soup Kitchen style
Price ------------- (9) $3.50 = Best deal in town
Availability ----- (8) A promotion that won't last too much longer
Quantity --------- (8) That's a lot of bang for your buck
Satisfaction ----- (7) Full but not satisfied

Rating: 6 out of 10

If you find yourself starving and digging in your car seats and couch cushions for money then the Jack in the Box Jumbo Deal is for you. If you've got what rich people call, "Paper Money" I suggest you purchase something more delicious.

I do commend Jack in the Box for for giving you the most bang for your buck out of any of the fast food chains. They realize that the backbone of their sales are drunken college students who want to eat something greasy and salty after last call to soak up all the alcohol poisoning.

By staying open late nights and providing affordable meals they are technically saving lives of the drunk and homeless. Thank you Jack in the Box.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Big Mac Snack Wrap - Rating: 4

Mark Lim - The way I see it is the Big Mac is a rich white college kid from the suburbs who befriends a Mexican Pizza in his Chicano studies class.

One day the Mexican Pizza invites the Big Mac to a house party on the other side of town and he begrudgingly decides to go. While there he is shunned by the Tostadas and Menudos and realizes that he'll never be able to cross the cultural lines until he meets a saucy young Bean Burrito who shows him the ways of her people.

They spend one passionate night inside a brown paper bag and 9 months later we have the Big Mac Snack Wrap.

Highland Avenue meets Olvera Street

Half of a Big Mac patty + Fixins = Big Mac Snack Wrap

I ate 3 of these for you

The Snack Wrap does taste like a Big Mac with their signature sauce/pickles/onions/and McDonald's "beef" patty but there just isn't much value for your money. It has about 1/5th of the meat a Big Mac and costs almost $2.00. You're really losing out on this deal.

Another problem is that McDonalds hasn't quite perfected the Tortilla process. Places like Taco Bell fill their tortillas with warm fillings which in turn keeps the tortillas soft and tasty. McDonald's Big Mac patties are never hot so their Snack Wraps Tortillas immedietly become cold and disgusting.

There are no new ingredients. It's just gimmick packaging.

PROS:

- Tastes like Big Mac
- Clean and easy to eat
- Less carbs
- "Healthier" than a Big Mac

CONS:

- Way less value. Not enough Meat and Cheese
- The Tortilla tastes disgusting when cold
- Too expensive

McDonald's - Big Mac Snack Wrap

Taste ------------ (6) It's got that Big Mac flavor
Presentation ---(4) Not a pretty sight. At least it's clean
Price ------------- (2) $2 = Rip Off
Availability ----- (7) Probably just testing it. It'll be gone soon
Quantity --------- (2) No enough Meat or Cheese
Satisfaction ----- (3) I felt insulted

Rating: 4 out of 10

Is it horrible tasting? No. Is it the worst thing on their menu? No. Will I be getting this again? Most likely not.

I'm just waiting for the McRib Snack Wrap.

Be Fat! Be Happy!